Musings II
by Macx
Summary: set in the Fire & Ice universe; reflections from another point of view


**Musings II**   
by Birgit Stäbler

  


It had been an exceptionally uneventful month, Michael reflected as he stepped out from under the shower. A mysterious homicide case had turned out to be an angry colleague of the victim wanting the deceased's job. An apparently kidnapped heir to a small fortune turned out to be a teenage runaway who wanted nothing to do with her parents. Puberty strikes back. And the Foundation fundraiser had been as boring as ever, with the one highlight of Quinn Campbell keeping him company throughout some very boring speeches. Even the discovery that Nick had been shot throughout what had sounded like a simple hacking stint was none too exceptional. They lived dangerous lives and injuries happened. Mostly through bullets, knives and whatnot.   
His life hadn't changed much in that regard, Michael thought as he left his room and passed by the empty cardboard boxes on the couch table. There had once been a triple cheese and pepperoni pizza in one of them. It had made his mouth water just from the smell. Last night had been exceptional compared to what his life usually looked like. Just sitting there, watching TV, having pizza and beer, talking a bit. The life they lived, it was rare they had a quiet evening without Nick being online and hunting for clues or useful information, or Michael going over a case, talking to Devon or Bonnie, or trying to make sense of meager clues.   
In other areas of his life, things had changed profoundly in the last three years. And he regretted not a minute of it, be it painful or happy. The pain and joy always held each other equal. There was not too much of any of it. Too much pain skewered your view of life; too much happiness made you reckless and an easy target. Whatever the implant in his mind had made of him, he didn't want it to change. It had brought him closer to his partner, and it had shown him there was so much more to life than what he had always thought was perfect already.   
Michael checked the time on the microwave oven clock and grimaced as he discovered that it was just after seven a.m. Too early to be up, but somehow he hadn't felt much like sleeping anymore. He got himself some coffee from the already working coffee machine. That meant that Nick was up. No big surprise there. Hardly anything about his odd friend could surprise him. Nick was a person you couldn't grasp, couldn't define, and when you tried, he defied whatever you had tried to pin on him. Michael had gotten to know him better lately, had seen sides to the younger man that had been buried deep inside. Nick had opened up and he was slowly coming out of his shell.   
He was responsible for a lot of the good things that had happened to Michael, he mused as he sipped at the black coffee. He had been there to teach them about the implant, almost whipping them on every time they had faltered. Every time they had wanted to give up because of the pain and despair. In the end, it had been the right way. Go through with it, live and learn. He had never left them alone, had defended them with his life, and he had changed himself. Compared to the man Michael had worked with prior to the activation of the implant, this Nick was now almost human.   
He chuckled lightly. Nick would probably give him a glare if he ever mentioned it. He liked to cultivate this image of coldness. It was a defense. But looking back now, he saw all the little tell-tale changes. The evolution, so to speak.   
Michael left the kitchen and walked over to the rail, gazing down onto the ground floor. To his mild surprise, he saw Nick lying on Karr's dark hood, eyes closed, his good arm curled under his head. It was a picture of perfect peace and unity, and Michael found himself smiling behind his mug. Nick hated to admit that he had changed in regard to Karr, but it was oh-so visible in little things. When they had met, the partnership between the AI and the man had been based on functionality and the need to work together because there was no other way. It had slowly turned into a partnership that showed openly, that gave Michael a view into the minds of the two people who had worked ceaselessly to give him and Kitt a chance. Nick and Karr had finished a bond that had been years in the making, finally making the last steps, opening themselves up without fear of pain to the other.   
It had astounded him to hear how close Karr had come to Kitt, and in the beginning, he had been angry, afraid, almost jealous. Why should this monster be allowed to share with Kitt what Michael shared as well? How dare this killer approach his partner? This had changed as well. Today, Michael knew that what he had met all those years back in the form of KARR, had not been what he had met again when the implant inside his mind had activated. There was a big difference, and Kitt had confessed to it as well. Karr would never be Kitt, but why should he? They were different, had been intended to be different. One was the prototype, the other the second generation. There was no rivalry; they knew who they were, what they were, and they knew their drivers.   
Change. So much change. And still, life was the same. Wasn't it? The world turned, people woke up every morning, went to work, came home to a family, went to bad. Normality. It had so many definitions. Michael's was this world. A world that consisted of artificial intelligences, chases through streets, fist fights, shots fired, espionage and mystery. Perfectly every-day normality, right?   
Without Karr and Nick, Kitt would be dead today. Michael would most likely be insane. Nothing of this would have happened, no development, no love like this. They would have given up before crossing the first bridge to cement this newly found closeness.   
Friends.   
Michael smiled. They had friends, different from everyone he knew, but friends he trusted with his life. With his sanity. Nick hadn't left after the first crisis was over; at least never for a long time. He had always come back and somehow he doubted the former agent ever would as long as he thought anything could hurt them. As much as Michael fought against this protection, against Nick risking anything to keep them safe, he appreciated the thought. This protection had gotten him ownership of the car, had brought back Kitt from near-death and a death wish, and it had brought them here.   
He studied the other man down below. He had come to Wilton Knight almost the same way Michael had, except for the bullet to the head. He had been chosen by a man he hadn't known before and offered a chance. Michael had had no choice but to take the chance. In a way, neither had Nick. Michael had watched his creator die, and back then the decision had been made to leave. When he had met Kitt, the decision had started to waver. At the end of their first case, he had been hooked. It had been that simple. He had never looked back, though it had been painful to make the transition from Michael Long to Michael Knight. New face, new identity, reborn. But the reward had been Kitt, and it was well worth it. It was worth all the scars and the pain.   
Something touched his mind and he smiled. This was worth everything. He would never give it up. It was like an addiction; he was a junkie. Wilton Knight had made him, had given him the implant, and he had died believing it to be a failure. It wasn't. It was beautiful and alive, it was warm and infinitely more than everything Michael could have been offered as replacement. Kitt flowed around him and he let his fingers trail over the mental image of his partner. Pure white light; beauty; perfection.   
It was what he always thought. He knew he wasn't alone in that. There were only two of them, but each was aware of what the mind at the other end of the implant meant. They had been made for the other, but still, they were individuals. Programs, who had developed beyond their initial perimeters. Artificial Intelligence that rivaled organic intelligence. Kitt was no computer for him; he was a person. He lived. He had the same dreams and fears, the right to exist. Others would never understand, but Michael didn't care. The important people understood. It was what mattered.   
He pushed away from the railing and walked back into the kitchen, feeling hungry. There were French Toast, waffles and some other goodies in the freezer and fridge.   
//Make more// Kitt's warm voice floated through his mind. //Nick's coming up//   
He smiled. It was so incredible, so unreal, so much what he would never want to miss again. It wasn't telepathy; it was a way to talk, to hear, even to see and feel that was beyond the human capability to verbalize. And it was theirs alone. Sometimes, when he touched Kitt, he thought he felt Karr. They were bonded as well, touching each other in a way only AIs could share a link. A personal link, not just one for communication. It was the touch Michael had been jealous of before, but one he now accepted wholly. He had seen Karr, but he had never really touched him. He couldn't imagine what it was like for Nick to be linked to the dark, silky mass that was both threatening and hauntingly familiar in one.   
Made for each other. So true. Michael knew what value this gift held; he would always treasure it.   



End file.
